Saturday, May 8, 2010

Mother's Day....somehow just doesn't seem enough...

Sunday is Mother's Day. On my way home tonight from work I got to thinking about it and I was just pondering the importance of mothers. I am gonna try to put my emotions into words and if it doesn't come out right...just go on to your next blog to read..I am sure they got it right. I want to acknowledge three mom's in my life and a child.

(1) My mom...

Where would I be without her? Well...not trying to state the obvious but I wouldn't be here! But that is besides the point. If there is any good in me...I give the credit to my mom. I have made a lot of bad decisions in my life...but to be honest...if I had listened to her I would have done things differently, but then, that is usually the case with all of us. My mom raised me to not only be a man...but a gentleman. She raised me with respect for authority, with respect for society and with respect for those around me. My mom raised me to think for myself, to have a backbone but also to have the courage to admit when I am wrong and to never be too big to apologize. She raised me to face the consequences of my choices, good or bad, with an uplifted head and straight shoulders (after all...you were man enough to do it be man enough to face the consequences!) Sure I have her temper and her stubbornness...but then...that is not entirely a bad thing. When I describe my mom to people I tell them...it is easy..Half Puerto Rican, half Italian...born and raised in Brooklyn...need I say more?

My mom had faith in me...even when I myself did not, when others in my family did not. When I made every decision in my life wrong...she had faith that I could still make the right one. Through the years she and I have had our differences, our heated arguments and disagreements but in the end, I always knew she was there for me. And for that I say...I love you mom...and it doesn't seem fair that all you get is the one day...after so many you give to all of us...Happy Mother's Day.

(2) Mandy...

Mandy is a fairly recent addition to my life...and the best thing I have ever had happen to me...and this is the first Mother's Day I have known her. In the last few months that I have gotten to know her though she has impressed me. I got to spend the weekend with her last month and watch her with her kids. Her kids are happy and well taken care of. The most common word on their lips is "mommy". I have watched her interact with her kids and watched her interact with my daughter. You can't fake it. Sure she has cranky days...all parents do! But I have gained a new respect for her after watching her with the kids. I know she wants to sleep in on Mother's Day...and I hope you get to, and I hope you have a Happy Mother's Day! (May I suggest the Benadryl? lol jk)

(3) Iris...

Mandy's mom is also a new addition in my life, and one I am thankful for. I was thinking about her and Mandy and Will tonight on my way home. I only got to spend a little bit of time with her on the weekend I was visiting but I can tell you alot about her...just from getting to know Mandy and Will. She is an intelligent woman that encourages a hunger for knowledge...she is an affectionate person with a sharp wit and you better be on your toes if you plan on keeping up!. I sat on the front porch with the three of them and watched them interact and I can see her in her kids...which is how it works right? I look forward to a lifetime of becoming a part of the family...and I want her to know I hold the deepest respect for her. It is funny. The other day I went on one of my crazy rants as I tend to do from time to time on my blog and Iris commented on it and started off with "Calm down Julio" and I just chuckled...I told Mandy afterwards I liked it...it kind of had a "Mom" touch to it. So Iris my hat off to you...you did a great job with those kids...and I hope you have a fantabulous Mother's Day.

(4) Bethanie...

I said I was going to recognize a child, and of course it would be my daughter, Bethanie. Mother's Day is a tough day every year. Last year I remember she came home from school crying. She was in pre K and they had all done a craft for "Mommy" and she had a gift for "Mommy" but no "Mommy" to give it to. I remember crying and holding her and telling her I loved her and just trying to distract her...I mean, seriously...what do you tell her?

Yesterday on Twitter somebody quoted Oprah Winfrey as saying "Biology is the least that makes a mother." And while I hate quoting her, I have to say this is a great quote. The woman that left three years ago, and left her three year old daughter is no mother. The woman that spent three years in and out disappearing for months at a time without so much as an email, and then when she did it was exactly that, just an email, all the while trying to blame everybody else except her own actions....is not a mother. This Sunday, she is staying home with me...she gave Granny a gift, but per Granny's request we kept the subject of mother out of it. But as Mandy and I discuss our future...which we are...I must admit that there was a relief in my heart as I watched them interact. And I get the warm and fuzzies every time we talk about Mandy and her face lights up...just another one of those things I thank Mandy for bringing into our life...

On the way home tonight I heard a song I had not hear in a while. A song by Martina McBride...In My Daughter's Eyes. I know it is written from a mother' view...so I am posting it here...followed by the lyrics...I hope you enjoy it. And happy Mother's Day to all the Mom's that read this...I hope you have a wonderful day...you deserve it and much more.

P.S. It is 1:30 AM and I am a little tired but I wanted to write it while my heart was feeling it...so if it is a bit jumbled...please forgive it.



In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride

In my daughter's eyes
I am a hero I am strong and wise
And I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I want to be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
Everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light
And the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
Gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh, It puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hanging on when your heart
Has had enough
It's giving more when you feel
Like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
I can see the future
A reflection of who I am
And what will be
And though she'll grow
And someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see
How happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

3 comments:

Jetsa said...

Happy Mother's Day to you too! I know you lack the biological features, but as you quote, biology is the least of the equation. As hard as it might be for her not having her mom around, Bethanie is blessed that God ( yes, God, you non-believer!) chose you as her dad. I'm sure she'll have a fantastic mother's day with you. You deserve twice the recognition! And I look forward to you extending your family with the truly amazing woman that Mandy is. Hats off to you for all you do for that little girl, my friend!

Mandy said...

Thank you so very much. What a very nice Mother's Day gift. You are way too kind, but I appreciate it.

I love you.

Iris Silk said...

A beautiful tribute, Julio, to all of us. Your Mom must be a pretty amazing woman because she obviously raised a good man. Thank You. Iris

 

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