Saturday, March 20, 2010

My Love / Hate Relationship with World of Warcraft

OK...so I have an addiction. I have never done drugs, but I kind of imagine it would be something like this. I only drink socially and have not smoked in years. I don't do bars or behave like a man whore. But I do have an addiction. This addiction is gaming. And not just any game, no...Ladies and Gentlemen I am an addict to a game known as World of Warcraft!

So maybe the word addiction is only slightly too strong. I do have a job, and yes I do live in my parents house but (A) It is NOT in the basement (since they dont have one) and (B) I am there for reasons totally unrelated to WoW (which is how I will be referring to World of Warcraft for the remainder of this post). I am a semi functioning adult male, with a few extra pounds. I am a single dad. I not only HAVE a job but I function at a reasonable level of intelligence and competence, and to my knowledge am performing according to expectations.

So maybe I am not like a crack ho...you know gasping around for the next hit and dropping to my hands and knees and pulling my thong aside just to get the money for another hit (and no I don't wear thongs!). I am more like a functional alchoholic. I can still do the things I need to do, but that next drink is always around the corner and never far from my mind!

So for the uneducated World of Warcraft is put out by an evil corporation with the intention of taking over the world. This evil corporation known as Blizzard, distributes a game in which players are in an alternate reality. In this alternate universe that they have created you go around the world of Azeroth (along with the Outlands and Northrend expansions) and you perform quests and level up then get gear and get to kill monsters and all kinds of other things.

Now some may see this as childish, but with a population over a 10 million world wide, it is nothing to scoff at. I know grown men and women that play this game. I know successful business people, I know nurses and even a 60 year old doctor that play this game, so it is not just something for kids, teens and dead beat losers! I have found a LOT of military and former military like to play since there is a lot of combat and strategy involved.

WoW is NOT a shoot 'em up game, and there is not a lot of blood and guts everywhere. There are no lewd, naked hookers out there trying to take you down the path of evil. The game is rated PG-13, not for game content as much as the fact that the chat in the game can be pretty foul and is pretty wide open so it is not advised for little children.

But as my title implies it is a mixed bag. So here goes my list of love and hate for World of Warcraft:

10 things I love about World of Warcraft

1. I love the lore

Blizzard has done a great job writing a very thorough and imaginative background story to their game. It is a fascinating story, and I am always a sucker for a good story. So I will have to say that the lore is a huge part of my enjoyment of the game. There is a movie coming out in 2011 that I cannot wait to see.

2. I love trade chat (and Barrens Chat!)

12 year olds on crack best defines trade chat. The ignorance spouted is absolutely amazing. Trade chat used to not be so bad. You basically had to go to the Barrens to get the really stupid chat. Of course barrens chat always got cured by a good dose of Chuck Norris! Hey! Who DOESN'T like a good Chuck Norris joke??? But then you go to trade chat and somehow it always comes down to drugs and anal sex! (now you know why the game is PG-13!) Some idiot talks about how he is gonna smoke pot, and then about fifteen people respond on what an idiot he is. He is not going to smoke pot! He barely got his mommy to give him the 15.00 for his monthly WoW fee!

3. I love a good guild

A guild is like...your peeps. A gang of sorts. I remember when I was on Frostmane (one of the US Realms in the game) and was a member of Symbol of Agression. There was this Alliance guild that had us on KOS (Kill on Sight) and we had them on KOS. And at least twice a week all war would break out in the Sons of Hodir daily questing area....was a blast! 30-40 level 80s just out beating up on each other...those were the days.

4. I love the goal oriented format (I dig those dailies!)

I like the goal oriented format of the game. Leveling, questing, leveling professions, earning gold through the dailies. It is all goal oriented which is something I love.

5. I love the Blood Elf (female) butt!

Ok...so I started playing the game with a Blood Elf Hunter. A male. I was all like...I am NOT playing a girl! Are you crazy??? Yeah, I know. Till my buddy Ben pointed out I was spending hours looking at a guy's ass. He had a point. So I began playing females...much more atttractive to look at as they are going along all sexy like. (Yes, I know it is a cartoon...leave me alone dammit!!! lol)

6. I love Kara! (umm...that would be Kharazhan)

Of all the raids I did in the game I loved Kara the most. That place was fun. It was the type of place that even now, some of the bosses require coordination no matter how many level 80's you have. That place wasa blast.

7. I love killing this little Night Elf out in Ashenvale!

There is this level 11ish NPC (some guy in the actual game not played by somebody else) He sits beside a fire just outside of a horde base in northern Ashenvale. He is so melodramatic when he dies. I am rarely out in that area...but no matter what..if I am out there..that dude is dead! Oh and the outriders in The Barrens too...them fuckers killed me too many times...I let them have it every time I am around them...oddly enough, I never get that urge to take on the Fel Reaver alone though...somehow I manage to avoid that bastard.

8. I love the Double Language!

The game is just full of double language. If you do the Sons of Hodir Dalies you will do quests named, "Blowing Hodir's Horn". "Thrusting Hodir's Spear" and "Polishing Hodir's Helm"....what can I say...this Hodir Dude gets lucky quite often! There is the achievement where you have to fall 75 feet without dying...oddly enough it is named.."Going Down!" LOL Too much.

9. I love the Shit Quests (no shit! rofl)

Somebody in Blizzard has a twisted sense of humor (not to mention some really sick fetishes!) In every expansion at some point you will do a quest where you have to take a dog for a walk feed it..wait till it shits..then dig through its shit for some quest item...I shit you not! Serious...some of these programmers need therapy!

10. I love Thrall!

Thrall is the bomb. I Hate the mighty Chieftain is getting neutered in the next expansion and is going to become the Ambassador of the horde. Is ok...for now I will just say that in WoW....ol' Thrall is da BOMB! I love watching Alliance come in and try to kill him. Son of a bitch is bad ass! Then there is the day I got to go to Undercity and help ol' Thrall out...him and the Banshee Queen (Sylvanas) backed me up as I took over Undercity. Yeah, he doesnt do too bad for a Shaman...then we had a couple of beers afterwards...


10 Things I hate about World of Warcraft

1. I hate Elitist Jerks (and not the website..I dont understand them enough to hate them!)

I hate people that forget that at one point they didn't know how to play the damn game either. I hate the people that find it necessary to insult and degrade people because they don't know how to play the game as good them. I can't stand to even play with people that have to belittle people for the epeen (that is electronic penis for those that are unfamiliar with the WoW jargon.) And most of all, I cant stand the people that feel the need to judge a person's worth and a person's character by how they play a stupid game!

2. I hate PvP

I cannot stand pvp. Frankly because I suck at it. I may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but I have the good sense to know when I can fight and win and when it is best to stay out of a fight. And trust me, I suck at pvp. So nothing sucks more than to just repeatedly get your ass handed to you by some 12 year old who wants to add insult to injury and camp your ass (in other words sit there and repeatedly kill you for their amusement, is very annoying!) I was glad to finally get off of a PvP server and get to a PvE server. (By the way, for the none WoW people...PvP means Player versus Player and PvE means player versus Environment.)

3. I hate those bugs in Stratholme!

In Stratholme there are these bugs that silence you. So when I go in on my mage I am doomed if I make the wrong step and get about three of them on me. They will chain silence you while everything else kills you. It is embarassing for a level 80 to get killed in Strat..but it has happened to me more times than I care to admit.

4. I hate Rogues!!!

I have already mentioned how much I hate PvP...and my MAIN reason for hating PvP is rogues! I call them the only class that plays with their food! It is irritating as hell! A Paladin kills you it is over before you know what hit you. An arcane mage hits you? Two shots you are dead...thank you...see you in the after life...but no....not arogue....nooooo...these sadistic bastards have to take for fucking ever to kill you. Sap, backstab, blind, mutilate and who the hell knows what else!!! Rinse and repeat...and repeat...and repeat....and repeat...it takes for ever!!!! Finally you are dead...you come back, they are stealthed..you rez...they start it all over again...bastards.

5. Did I mention I hate Rogues?!? (yes I DO still know how to count)

yeah...just for emphasis...

5. I hate the Fel Reaver!

Ok..so how many of my friends that actually play wow and will read this will remember that magical moment when you hit 58-60 and went through the Dark Portal? Did you do it by yourself at 3am (after a long night of grinding to get to that magic number so you could go to the Outlands)? Did you go with friends? Stand in a circle and sing kumbaya? You go through, take that first flight to Thrallmar (Go Horde!) you pick up your first quests, you go start the grind to 70, are busy killing those little red orc guys (or the hellboars you have to feed and dig through their shit for some sort of quest item?) And the ground starts shaking and the next thing you know you are dead? You go WTF???? and look around and this big ass machine is stomping off? How the FUCK does that big ass bastard sneak up on you?? It never failed, I would turn around and BAM! There he is...not like oh let me run cause there he comes...NOOOOO...it is like your head is coming out of your ass because the fucker is already pummeling you!! (you laugh but those that have played the game know I am telling the truth! lol)

6. I hate I never got Legacy!

Yes, Cesar, I AM still bitching and moaning about Legacy. Best in slot weapon for a hunter pre Wrath of the Lich King. It was this badass two handed axe that looked so fucking cool. It only dropped in the Theatre Event in Kara...and only from a specific play, the Romeo and Juliet one I think. And like the star crossed lovers Me and Legacy never could quite connect. It didn't help that it seemed like Legacy always taunted me by dropping when I couldn't raid and I would hear the horrible stories of the damn thing getting disenchanted (which means reduced to powder and shards for those that don't play WoW.)One of these days I am going to run Kara just to get it and put it in the bank so I can say I got it!

7. I hate the rep grind for some factions.

Reputation grinds are part of the game. It is how you get achievements, gear, pets and mounts. Some of the grinds are ok while some of the grinds are a nightmare. I remember leveling Mag'har rep for the mounts. And having to kill ogres, hundreds and hundreds of ogres to get their beads and turn them in for rep. (Yes, I was doing nasty things with ogres and their beads...if you must know!) And then there is Timbermaw...vengeful little buggers, it is hard as hell to get rep with them but you can lose it very fast!

8. I hate that Paris Hilton has invaded WoW!

How the hell this Bimbo has shown up in WoW is beyond me. But WoW has this habit of stealing celebrities names! Mr T, Paris Hilton (she is Haris Pilton in Shattrath City) and many more. There is even a Harrison Jones you have to escort out of danger...a pit full of snakes resulting in an achievement entitled, "Snakes, Why did it have to be Snakes?", sound familiar?

9. I hate The Occulus! (and tanks that don't know how to run Old Kingdom!)

If you have played the game you know what I mean. These two instances are a nightmare. Occulus is a pain in the as place full of dragons where you have to ride a dragon at the end to kill the final boss. While on the surface it sounds cool, if you dont get a decent group of players it always results in a debacle. And don't even get me started on Old Kingdom. After you kill Prince K, you go down this passage way and there are some steps there that only about 5% of the tanks I have run with even know how to run it, usually resulting in multiple deaths and a high repair bill.

10. I hate the nerd rage

It is actually kinda comical watching the nerd rage. Screw up on an instance, "Dude you are such a noob! When did you buy your pally? What a huntard!" The list goes on and on. It is really funny to watch in trade chat as the revenge of the nerds takes place in full color. Then I would be remise if I did not mention my geeky friend Mandie and how she geeks out on Blizzard news! But she is actually cute, rather than irritating...well most of the times at least :-P!!!

So many things about the game to hate or love. But it is my habit and my hobby. I am a grown man. I don't go bar hopping, I rarely drink, I don't do drugs, I don't smoke. This is my escape time. I worship the ground my daughter walks on, and most of the time I am right on top of things with her...of course when I fail to she comes in hugs up to me and says softly, "Daddy, can you get off your game and play with me?" That is when I know I have pushed my luck and it is time to dial it back some! Then of course, there was this one time I was trying to show her how to play this little hand held game she had recieved a s a gift, she promptly took it away from me and said, "Daddy you play YOUR game, this MY game!"

Hey...it is electronic crack! lol And I am a proud member of WoW Anonymous!

For the Horde!!!

8 comments:

Mandy said...

In the future could you please try and write your posts in English? I am quite certain this one was written in some foreign language I will never understand...but, good post...quite humorous...I think.

Also I am quite impressed you took enough time away from your game to, um, write about your game..bwahahaha!

Sylvia said...

lo9l lol lol how well I can relate!!!!
actually well enough that I too am thinking about moving to a PVE realm.

Yes, I miss playing a lot - and still get withdrawl when rl gets in the way or blizzard closes my account because I got hacked.

As usual I LOVE the way to talk about it too.

Thanks

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