Friday, March 26, 2010

Creepy Friday!

So I am starting a tradition this week...Creepy Friday. I have seen Not Me Monday! Friday Secrets, Things I've Learned This Week!, Idiot of the Week, The Sunday Pull and of course the infamous "Shit I was doing this week when I wasn't here" And I decided I wanted a cop out day too! (Yeah I know it is a joke ladies and gentlemen don't get all on the defense!)

So what I will do with Creepy Friday is just randomly talk about events, people, movies and things my kids did that I just find mildly to extremely creepy...and have a creep meter...feel free to comment on them please as it will make this a whole lot more fun.

So for my first edition of creepy Friday..

1. The Fourth Kind.

So I finally watched this movie. It was actually pretty good. I would say it was more intriguing than it was creepy. I will have to do some research on the validity of some of its claims. What I did find creepy was Milla Jovovich had an almost topless scene that I didn't care didn't actually end up showing anything...because..let's face it...she has nothing to show in a topless scene! Hell, my man boobs are bigger than hers! (which is in and of itself a creepy mental image I assure you!) All in all I was personally impressed with the movie and as I mentioned, intrigued.

Now to take the creep level up just a little...I finished this movie around 2:30am and went to bed and had a dream that I was abducted by aliens and they changed out my stomach and put clamps on it and I was in horrible pain (in my dream of course) and woke up when I only had a couple of hours left to live! Except..maybe it wasn't a dream...and they took me and did do all kinds o wierd shit to me and I don't remember it, but yet somehow in my subconcious I do...oh..and I did NOT see an owl..or maybe...hell I don't know. Any way the boobless wonder in a very intriguing movie gets to be on my CREEP list just because I had a wierd dream that may or may not have been brought on by those chicken fingers from the cafeteria last night...you know how it is...never trust hospital food!

CREEP Meter: 5

2. Shirley Phelps Roper

I came across this video on vjack's blog Athiest Revolution and when I began thinking about creepy shit I saw this week, this came to mind:



Wow! There are just no words to describe how creeped out that bitch makes me feel! It is like Bela Lagosi...shit..forget that the creepmeister had nothing on this nut job! And to think there are so many that actually agree with her! That my friend is creepy!

CREEP Meter: 10 (definiately a 10!)

3. Sarah Palin and John McCain...together again!

Now this should be creepy! Way too reminicient of 2008 and the hate campaign that palin the Bulldog waged against anybody that was not lined up with her evangelical message, pretty much telling us we were not quite as American as her and her supporters. Despite the fact that ultimately she dragged the McCain Campaign into a political nose dive, McCain somehow thinks this is going to change? I guess it is true what they say...you just can't teach an old dog new tricks...

Eh...not TOO terribly creepy...but an honorable mention...I think McCain is just too old news to really do anything to creep me out anymore.

CREEP Meter: 3

4. I want my own Canadian too!
(and to my Canadian friends...it is a joke don't get pissed at me!)

While this is soooo not creepy...it is funny as shit...and a fat guy laughing so hard he falls off his chair IS creepy! So thank you Leslee for giving me this link...I also went to youtube to get a version with better sound quality. Posted below is a letter written to Dr. Laura...whose hateful self righteousness is only matched by the types of Hannity and Limbaugh...actually I think she falls a little short but I digress...This letter was sent to her in regards to her comments that homosexuality is an abomination according to the Bible. It is an obvious take off of the video but both are different enough that it was worth putting both...Enjoy!
(This is the link that was given to me)

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

And here is a great version of the youtube video:



OK...so it is not creepy...but hell I wanted to share it anyway...

CREEP Meter: 0 (So it gets a 0 on the CREEP Meter...unless you take the fat guy falling out of his chair causing a massive earthquake causing the devastation only the Mayans could predict...except it is a couple of years early!)


Definition of the CREEP Meter:

There is no definition except 1-10...1 being...hell are you kidding me this shit is boring and 10 being...please excuse me while I change my underpants!

That'll be all folks!

(BTW...please comment if you can....all comments are appreciated!)

3 comments:

Mandy said...

Ok, I like "Creepy Friday"...very humorous..you actually made me laugh with most of it!

Love, love, love the letter to Dr. Laura, I had not seen that and find it perfect!

Maybe for one "creepy friday" you should write the ultimate creep story...could be scary "boo" or scary, "Palin in President'...bwahahaha...

Fun post! I like it!!

Jetsa said...

ROFL. That woman is batshit crazy, but I LOLed so hard. I must admit I also LOLed at the fat guy falling off his chair. I guess too much hospital food can do that to you! :p. Good idea this tradition, Mr. Creepster!

Will Shealy said...

I am a fan of Creepy Friday - good stuff J!

And the Fourth Kind? It scared the hell out of me - maybe because I was in a dark theater, I don't know - but that woman's mouth opening up to emit those screams - and the fact that so much was blurry or fuzzy, or otherwise obscured by static made it worse. That which you can't see has always been more unsettling to me.

What I didn't like though was the fact that its attempt to appear as a documentary was so cardboard that it distracted from the film. Had it just been a movie and not a faux documentary it would have been scarier.

 

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