Saturday, July 10, 2010

ALERT! In case of Zombie Apocalypse....

Yes...In case of a Zombie Apocalypse the following plan has been put in place by the Governments of the world (yes it is a Conspiracy...that is why you didn't know about it till I just now told you because that is how Conspiracies work..nobody knows about them till somebody figures them out!)...make your way immediately to your closest Dollar General. Now this may, on the surface, seem to be a foolish plan but I am convinced there is a definite conspiracy in play here...allow me to elaborate:

(1) They are built like nuclear bunkers. Seriously...there are NO stores that I drop signal on my cellphone faster than in a Dollar General. Those daggum stores are built rock solid and typically have limited glass entrance at the front of the store that could be easily defended!

(2) There is one on every corner! No joke! From where I live there are 5 in a 10-15 minute drive! There would be NO problem making it to a safe location in a hurry before the Zombies got me!

(I garauntee there is one not far down the street from where this guy is at...of course..that may be where he picked up the Marlforo's, which may defeat the purpose.)

(3) They are built incredibly fast. It would be easy to turn the rest of the world into a community of Dollar General Stockades! They just recently built one about 15 minutes from my house and I drive by it every day on my way to work...they built that sucker in like 3 months from start to finish. I am telling is looking more and more like a conspiracy.

(4) They are stocked with all the basic necessities for a prolonged seige. You can't get out? No problem...there is food, toilet paper, bathroom needs, clothes, shoes, toys for the is all there! There are even Wheat Thins (which I was craving today and HAD to stop and get some) and Monster Energy is IDEAL!

(5) Only problem I saw is that there was NO clothes for fat guys which only proves the dude in the movie "Zombieland" right...the fat guys will not survive the Zombie Apocalypse...which was really bad news for me...but I guess I will just have to either lose weight...or enjoy life to its fullest for the time being!

So there you have it...if you dont want to be looking up to this view (below) then in the likely case of a Zombie Apocalypse you better make your way to your local Dollar General!

P.S. You have been warned!


Mandy said...

ok, seriously, have given this waaaaaaaay too much thought. I am concerned.

Has the stress finally broken you?

(funny post, btw.)

Darkwulfe said...

Broken me??? Not a chance! lol

Kat said...

I think that Mandy is right, you have given far too much thought to this scenario. LOL I'm glad, though, because it was entertaining. Now where is the nearest dollar store......

vjack said...

Perfect! The closest store to my house is a Dollar General, and it is in a fairly isolated location. I just have to grab the chainsaw and shotgun on my way out, and I should be fine.


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